these are the contents of my head

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:01:05 GMT

xmascard
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

Merry Christmas long lost lj friends!

maria elena james

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 06:05:46 GMT

i haven't seen my mother in one year. in my 36 years i don't think i ever went more than a few days without talking with her. it's been a year. the last day i spent with her it was hot. we went to home depot to pick out plants for my new house. i told her that i couldnt' plant them so she would supervise and dean would be the one planting them. i needed her to supervise because there wasn't much i did without her help or adivce. she was tired but still willing to help. i was waddling around home depot and remarked how i was finally feeling pregnant. every day since finding out i was pregnant i would look in her bedroom mirror and wonder when i was going to finally look pregnant. i included her in every part of my pregnancy so happy to finally give her a grandbaby. she drove me home and we talked about john. how she finally was done with arguing with him about taking his meds. they fought earlier that day. she said when he goes completely crazy this time she would let them take him and wouldn't fight to keep him with her. she drove me to my house and went to see my father down the street in the hospital. she came back on the way home to pick up some things i forgot to give her. i was making mac and cheese and asked her if she wanted to stay and eat. i had her taste it and asked if it needed more salt. she said no, it was good. she was walking out the door and i was so torn seeing her go. i wanted to go with her. i was having a hard time being away from her since moving. the part that made me stay that night was that she seemed happy that i was in my little kitchen cooking. that's one of the only reasons i stayed. so i watched her walk away and i said to her, "am i going to see you tomorrow" and she said, "yesss" smiling. and that was it. i still dream about saving her from him. but i don't wake up in a cold sweat anymore. i still feel like there was something i could have done to stop this. but it's not a daily thought anymore. i see my mom in ryden, when he smiles. he has her round face. i hear her when i laugh, and when i say her silly little sayings. i will miss her the rest of my days.

my little cowboy

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:14:30 GMT

my little cowboy
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

Ryden is in a photo contest..please recommend his pic to the judges...click here: http://www.parents.com/app/sharemy/photoDetails.jsp?photoId=255500081

thanks!!

Maximus 2001-2008

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:53:38 GMT

Maximus 2001-2008
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

We lost our beautiful boy today. I went in to let him out and found him gone. He went so peacefully and I'm grateful for that. I hope his nana was there to greet him and they are together now. I will miss him so much.

ryden's nursery (finally)

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 02:21:41 GMT

ryden's nursery
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

It's nearly done, at last! I have some little projects for the room I'm working on, but it's pretty much complete. There are more pics on my flickr page.

ryden and his daddy

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:51:20 GMT

ryden and his daddy
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

i love this photo of them...

ryden's first easter

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:23:55 GMT

ryden's first easter
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

he got many baskets and got to wear his snazzy vintage coat.

march 12 08'

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:15:10 GMT

march 12 08'
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

i'm still here, just super busy. we moved out of the old house and back into my parents house. it's weird, or it was at first but it's feeling normal more and more everyday. so many memories here and there is just me and my new family now. i'm still processing the tremendous loss of my mother. it's still so unreal to me. my brother was found incompetent to stand trial and will be send to a institution. anyway, ryden is amazing. he looks just like me! I still can't believe i co-created this perfect little boy! i'll post pics of the "new' house soon.

merry christmas everyone!

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:14:13 GMT

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:31:15 GMT

baby ryden is finally here! i went in on thursday afternoon to be induced.
it was slow going and by friday morning i was in so much pain it was unbearable.
i was begging for an epidural. but, once i got it i hated that too. not fun
to be paralyzed. ryden started showing signs of distress and they decided i
had to have a c-section on friday evening. very scary. once i heard his cry
the whole ordeal was worth it. i'll update more later, he is attached at the
boob pretty much 24/7 and I can't do anything! But, I'm loving it. I am so blessed.

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:06:13 GMT

i had my baby shower on sat. lots of clothes and cute things. oh, and the baby's name is ryden. ryden james rockwell.

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 21:07:20 GMT

70's tiles
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

I found a unopened box of these tiles in my basement today. most were broken..:-( i think i'm going to use them as coasters.

Oh, and I found out yesterday that I'm having a BOY!!!! the little stinker tried to hide again and it took a friggin' hour to confirm the sex. i knew it all along, but that fake psychic messed me up. yippeeeee a boy!!!!

new chair

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 01:52:44 GMT

new chair
Originally uploaded by nerdstroms.

I'm settling in at the new house. we don't have a lot of furniture yet. i scored this chair at the salvation army for 40 bucks! its super comfy. moving sucks, especially while pregnant. everything feels super overwhelming to me right now. i HATE unpacking boxes!!

wtf

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 23:46:16 GMT

anna nicole smith died?? all they are saying is she collapsed.

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 01:45:43 GMT

i am obsessed with edie's apt. in factory girl...

last chance...ends today!

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 22:20:06 GMT

christmas eve party

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 02:59:34 GMT

i had a retro themed party for christmas eve...cheesy spinach bread, snack mix, veggies and ranch, cheeseball, hot artichoke dip, and candy cane cocktails!

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 02:32:54 GMT

dean gave me the built by wendy sewing kit for xmas! inside the bag was every built by wendy pattern, her sewing book, and a cute little measuring tape. no excuses, i have to learn to sew now! i'm really intimidated by a sewing machine for some reason. any of you have suggestions for a good machine?

another pink christmas!

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 04:23:46 GMT

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:38:55 GMT

great bday, i am blessed. drank good champagne and ate this amazing cake. it
was a red velvet+cake batter icecream cake. i got the complete tord for target
red dinnerware set, jonathan adler book, me you and everyone we know + beales
of grey garden dvds, clothes and i forget what else right now. tired. 35 will
be a great year, dammit.

in memory of james

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 02:56:24 GMT

in memory of james
Originally uploaded by Bird in the Hand.

my heart just broke when i heard about james kim. they are holding an auction for the family...more here: http://birdinthehand.typepad.com/a_bird_in_the_hand/2006/12/index.html

new stuff

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:35:15 GMT

thanksgiving

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 23:39:48 GMT

more new items!

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 03:24:09 GMT

new items!

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 02:51:18 GMT